Thursday, May 09, 2013

I'm a cat

In 1935, Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger described a hypothetical experiment to disprove a theory in quantum physics which said that a particle may exist in two states at the same time.
It kinda goes like this. 
If you put a cat in a box along with a certain amount of poison, at any given point of time, the cat has a 50% chance of being alive and a 50% chance of being dead. Since the cat is inside the box and we can't know for sure whether the poison has leaked or not until we open the box, it must mean that the cat must be alive AND dead at the same time. Which is obviously not possible; hence allowing the man to prove his point.

It took me a while to really understand what he was trying to say. Now that I'm starting to get a hang of it, I feel like I'm stuck in a Schrodinger's-cat-like situation myself.

In the past few weeks, I wrote at least 35923502398985290345 (you know what I mean) engineering entrances. Most of the results have been announced and I can't help feeling that there's been a mistake. All the midnight studying, the avoiding going out or watching movies/hanging out, staying away from Facebook(okay, not so much) and Blogger hasn't amounted to anything. I failed miserably in those exams which I thought went really well. Serious lapse in judgement. I try hard not to mull over the past, but when I think of what I've given up hoping to do well in said exams, it just breaks my heart. It just doesn't seem worth it. At all.
I still have two more exams to go. And I'm clinging all my hopes onto the second one. 

Until then, I'm stuck in the box with a bottle of poison, a lot like Schrodinger's cat. I don't know if I'll make it or break it. Until someone opens my box and tells me whether I'm dead or alive.

Dead. Or. Alive.